January 2008

I love when I hear an idiot state, “the economy is excellent!” Hey jackass, put the see-thru cylinder down. This is the United States of America.

To those who say “my New Year’s resolution is this . . .” Stop it. Just stop it. The majority of those who declare the aforementioned do not have the motivational capacity to stick with it longer than once the BS left their mouth. I’m tired of it. “Hey you wanna hear my resolution?” No I don’t. What I do hear is someone who is so full of crap they need ExLax.

I heat with oil so every time I get my oil tank filled, I feel like I’m getting a proctology exam.

With all the serious problems this country has, I am happy beyond words one of the most important issues being tackled in America is whether or not Barry Bonds lied to a grand jury.

Is it me or are there too many celebrities getting involved in politics via backing ? If you’re going to vote for Obama Barack because Oprah Winfrey is speaking so highly of him, I put you right there with the morons who voted for Bill Clinton because they thought he was handsome.

I know you see it at your workplace. That one person who follows the boss everywhere like there is an umbilical cord connecting them. It makes me so sick I want to take surgical scissors and SNIP!

In addition to the fact the USA wasted money on the Mitchell Report, the lack of accountability befuddles me. When a player “admits” they used steroids, it has a habit of being coupled with “I made a mistake. It was stupid. I only used it once. It was an error in judgment. Etc.” It wasn’t a mistake. It wasn’t stupid. You didn’t use it once. It wasn’t an error in judgment. Just come clean man. Figuratively.

Tony Jaa is a phenom. He’ll never be a “star” in this country because he’s Asian. Don’t believe me? I’ll drop three names and you research them diligently. Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet Li.

If I hear another person call Daisuke Matsuzaka that “Chinese guy for the Red Sox,” I will play “Chinese checkers” with their dental work!

I’ll never understand this country’s obsession with combining the names of prominent couples. TomKat, Bennifer, Brangelina, Billary, etc. The sheer stupidity behind this is so bothersome. No wonder other countries loathe us.

I love driving on the highway when there are only a few cars there. But for some reason beyond my comprehension, there is always some buffoon who has this weirdo urgency to drive side by side with me. Yes, side by side. All of this open road and “I’m so lonely” has to drive right next to me. Hey freak! Go get a virtual pet!